My Front Porch

There are varying opinions about what dreams are. Complete fiction? Visits to other dimensions? Messages from the spiritual world? I've received enough validation now that I know some are definitely heaven sent.

For a while now, I've dreamt of standing on a wraparound porch and there was a man there. He was just a black figure. I didn't know what he looked like, but I sure knew how he made me feel.

It was always the same little porch... the same black figure... the very same comforting feeling.

I found myself wondering who that man could be. I started looking for him in the men who crossed my path. More than anything, I looked for that feeling. I didn't find it anywhere. But it sure made me realize what it is that I was searching for.

Those dreams were a lighthouse in the dark. Despite my past and the pain I carried, the more that dream came, the more I held the faith that I would find that man. Despite any stumbles or left turns, I have repeated to myself and everyone, "He's coming."

One day I received a friend request from a guy I knew 30 years ago. We used to hang out in the same friend group on the creek, but I couldn't even remember ever having a conversation with him. But I did remember him and I did accept the friend request.

I read his recent post about his faith and how God had changed his life. I didn't know this man, but somehow I felt proud of him and I felt a unique pull toward him to learn more.

What I didn't know then was just how deeply that faith had become part of the man he is. Michael doesn't simply talk about God. He tries to live his life in a way that reflects Him.

I see it in the way he loves his family.

I see it in the way he works to build a life and a home.

I see the quiet pauses where he pulls himself back from the man he used to be.

I see his generosity.

I see his desire to help others strengthen their faith.

I hear him pray with a sincerity that still moves me every time. There is something about the way this man prays. He's not just speaking the words. He's speaking truth into creation through his unwavering faith.

And then there is the way he loves me.

This is where words get harder for me. Not because I don't know how Michael loves me, but because I don't know how to contain something this big in a paragraph. There isn't one grand gesture I can point to. It's everywhere... every day.

It's how he considers me in everything he does. Every plan, every decision and every prayer.

It's the way his face lights up when he sees me smile.

It's the way he slides his hand into mine and we both look at each other knowing what it means to us.

It's the goofy stories and endless laughs.

It's how an ordinary hug in the kitchen somehow becomes a slow dance, just because he knows I love it.

It's the pillow talk and cuddles before sleep.

I guess that's what makes his love feel so big because it lives in all the little things we experience every day.

And now when I sit on our little wraparound porch, I realize the dreams were never really about the porch itself. It's the feeling I would find here with him. Michael is my front porch. He is the one welcoming me home and giving me a sense of peace and comfort that I have never known. He chooses me so completely and loves me with such certainty.

Interestingly enough, Michael had been having dreams of a blond haired woman in the field here. He never saw a face either. Looking back at how this has played out, I think it was very intentional. Maybe we would have been caught up more in the person. I believe we were meant to recognize each other by how it felt. And it is such a powerful thing to know that it is all God given.

So each day, we share our lives,

we smile,

we laugh (a lot),

we thank God for bringing us to each other,

and we walk in faith that God has much more to add to our story.