Love with Courage

Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have been completely devoted to my son. Now here we are 17+ years later preparing for him to move back to RI without me. Yes, I said, WITHOUT ME.

Just thinking and typing those words is still jarring to me emotionally. But, I find myself in a unique space of greater understanding now. There are moments, without question, that sting and burn and feel like paper cuts on my heart. As a mother, I'm already grieving for the loss of his daily presence. If I'm completely honest, also for the loss of being his safe place every day.

What I realize now is that it's not a letting go, but more of an expansion. Our hearts aren't being wounded, but are stretching, like a muscle learning what it's capable of.

He needs more independence, new perspectives and a chance to experience himself differently.

I know I don't have to hover to hold him and my love is not bound by distance. He will learn through this that love doesn't disappear when space is created.

That is a gift I can give him. It's a gift Tony has given me. Tony has already shown me that presence is energetic, not geographical. And because of that knowing, I trust that Jack will feel me... steady, loving and present... wherever he is.

I will applaud and support his courage to make this change. I will recognize in myself the courage it takes to find peace in it. And I will trust that we are both divinely guided.