Me in Retrograde

So I'm going through life now by the seat of my pants. No plan. No real idea what may come next. I'm just trying to learn, stay open, and keep myself anchored in peace and joy where I can.

Life still pummels me as it did before... one punch, two punch, three punch, four, etc. I haven't evolved so much that I'm immune to it. I still cry. I still get upset. I still get angry. The difference is that those feelings don't stay as long as they used to. I am able to recognize what's happening, let it move through me, and accept things more easily than I ever could have before.

There has been a more noticeable shift the past few days. The world feels a little lighter. I feel more capable. Somehow I feel like I've been propelled much further on my path. There is a recognition of "Oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like."

Is it a coincidence that I see all the social media posts about Mercury being in Retrograde? Despite Jeannie's best efforts, I still stumble on astrology. My understanding is that this planetary season can bring us feelings of disconnection, miscommunication, delays, glitches, and so forth and so on. All things that can trigger us, especially in a state of overwhelm.

That's where I usually got bogged down... in the overwhelm. When you feel like the world is spinning out of control and you keep stumbling, it's easy to let your thoughts marinate in the negative and sacrifice precious time in worry and strife.

I am no longer that woman. The old me in retrograde used to get buried in overanalyzing, lost in the noise, and carried the feeling that life was always out to get her. She wasted an extraordinary amount of time trying to figure it all out immediately to feel safe again.

I'm very proud to say that's not who I am anymore. This me I am now understands the importance of coming back to myself. I'm already safe here within myself. And the tides of life that ebb and flow don't have to be a continual cycle of crisis. I can handle whatever comes. I always do.

Rather than putting a negative connotation on retrograde, I'm starting to see it as a hidden gift. A reminder to slow down. To breath. To stay in alignment. To trust that even when life feels messy, I am not lost.

I am still moving towards all the wonderful things that are ahead of me in this life. I have never been more confident and determined.