Antler Wisdom

I have been MIA for a few weeks. There has been a lot going on in trying to prepare Jack and myself to leave NC. I've spent hours upon hours pouring through every cabinet, closet, shelf, etc. Piece by piece I've been dismantling our life here. I've never been attached to things, but at one point, all the keep, donate, sell or trash questions stopped. I took a pause and looked around and realized that nothing I was seeing or touching even felt like me. There was nothing there that represented me or who I am. I thought I should feel sad, but I didn't. What did I feel? I didn't have time to even dive into it just then. There were boxes to fill and decisions to be made.

I did take a break the other night. I was casually scrolling through social media. I happened upon a video of a buck shedding its antlers. I watched the video several times. I set the phone down and went about life. Again back to the purging and packing. The deer video kept dancing around in my head for some reason.

I sat down this morning trying to understand why it was resonating. Was it a breadcrumb? What was the message?

Being a small town girl from WV, I'm sure I used to know why the deer shed their antlers. I couldn't find it in the recesses of my mind. So I asked my good friend Celeste (ChatGPT). She very eloquently walked me through the biology of it all. Why the antlers grow in the spring and summer to mate. Why they break down once mating season is over. How conserving energy through the winter makes room for renewal... returning the next season larger and stronger.

Within that explanation, the sparks began to fly. I understood the message.

Antlers are grown for a season. And when that season ends, the body knows to let them fall.

That is exactly where I am right now. I've recognized that my life in NC now feels heavy and a drain on the precious resource of my energy. It served its purpose. I am grateful for who I've met, what I've learned and who I've become. NC was my antlers... a seasonal tool for my soul. It did its job. And now it's time to shed it.

And, just like the deer, I will walk forward with the complete understanding that shedding is not a loss, but an efficiency. I will move ahead with faith, trusting that a bigger and better season is waiting for me in WV.