Shifting and Accelerating

Most of my adult life has felt like trying to move through mud with a blindfold on. Everything has felt heavy and slow. And it was exhausting.

Now so much is happening so fast. I feel like I've jumped into a sports car with the universe driving and she looked at me and said, "You finally ready?" We've all seen that movie moment where the driver shifts gears and takes off at a crazy speed. That's my life right now. I don't even know that I can fully express the magnitude of it right now. It's an exhilaration I've never known. Yet there is some innate calmness in me telling me not to fear. Let this be. And as Tony always said, "Enjoy the ride."

The parts of me that used to question, overthink, and hesitate are quieter now. Not gone, just softened. They feel manageable. I'm learning how to let go of things that aren't meant for me. In fact, just yesterday, a situation happened at work where I would have normally jumped in to try to help put out the fire - my mind went to a vision of a tennis racket hitting a tennis ball away. I thought to myself, "This is not for me" and I let it go. It was absolutely so self gratifying. I'm starting to even feel a little excited about these little tests, because I know it shows how much stronger I'm getting.

I have no idea where this is all leading, but I know I'm not asking the universe to slow down and I'm certainly not getting out of the car. I'm going to enjoy the ride.

And I know Tony will be with me, smiling his ornery grin saying, "Attagirl."